SubscribeMy 3 Minute Girlfriend – Zeesy Powers
March 21st, 2007 by JP
We’re interrupted mid sentence by the timer going off. I deduce this marks the end of 3 minutes. I lean over for a hug. She smiles, kisses me softly on the cheek and we say goodbye. I grab my coat to leave, smiling self-consciously and waving a shy farewell to my now-ex-girlfriend. How do I feel about our 3 minute relationship? I feel strange, a little disoriented, somewhat relieved it’s over, but also slightly regretful that it is.
So this all started with a blogTO post about artist Zeesy Powers’ performance art piece aptly named 3 minute girlfriend. I thought it’d be neat to have a girlfriend for 3 minutes, so I went.
A brief Sunday afternoon bike-ride brings me to xspace gallery, where my then-girlfriend-to-be awaits. The gallery is bare and a lot more casual than I imagined. A reception desk faces the door and draped black curtains section off the back area. Stange music that sounds like melodic chanting eminates from boombox on the table by the side wall. Also on the table is a single bright red tulip in a pot and a large plate filled with white sugar cubes. There’s free coffee and cookies for the boys and girls waiting their turn. After taking a look around, I realise I’m the only boy here. There’s about 6 or 7 girls, including the ones behind the reception desk.
The whole process feels very clinical. “Please sign up here”. “Please sign this consent form agreeing to be videotaped”. “Please wait until you’re called.” “You can go to the back whenever you’re ready”. I only wish hospitals were this efficient!
Behind the black curtains is a very different scene. She sits on a large vintage couch in a pair of yellow long-johns. A softness prevades the room, from the soft colour of the couch coverings, to the soft light of the old lamp, to the softness in her eyes. I take a seat next to her on the couch and the three minutes pass in a bit of a haze. We talk about nothing in particular; however, she’s very affectionate and there’s a tenuous intimacy between us. This is a whole lot less awkward than I had imagined, but still slightly awkward nonetheless. Before I know it, the 3 minutes are up and I’m single again.
As I step outside into the March sun once more, I try to reflect on the whole experience. I’m not quite sure what to make of a three minute relationship. Certainly, it’s unlike any other relationship I’ve experienced, but does it actually have any semblance of a real relationship? I think the essential threads are there: the apprehensive meeting, the few moments of intimacy, and the wistful parting. And much like any real relationship, it’s hard to sum up what it’s all about. It’s very much defined by the experience itself.
You know, having a three minute girlfriend is pretty cool. It’d be nice if instead of the whole dating business, we could just jump into relationships for three minute trials. If it works out, great! If not, there’s no harm done. That way, we can save ourselves a whole lot of headache and heartache.
My thanks to Zeesy Powers for dreaming up such a whimsical idea and for being my girlfriend for three minutes. She has all sorts of interesting projects going on, and you can see them at her website.
March 21st, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Not a terribly novel idea, as it happens. Men have been working on perfecting the three-minute girlfriend/boyfriend for centuries. Condoms, and the resultant decreased sensitivity, have of course complicated things in recent years, extending some of these relationships well into the five- and six-minute range. I hear scientists are hard at work trying to solve this problem even as we speak.
March 21st, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Hahaha, just to clarify, we didn’t round any bases during our 3 minute relationship…
March 22nd, 2007 at 9:38 am
I think the point of a girlfriend is not simply the sex (although it’s way fun), but the feeling of someone valuing you and giving you affection. At least, that’s how I define my relationship.