I went through it during Reading Week. My roommate went through it while visiting home. My other roommate endured the crisis multiple times. More than a handful of friends in my year have had the life-changing, personal-reflective, future-thinking, and purely terrifying experience that I hereby dub: The Third Year Crisis.

What is it?

The Third Year Crisis is that/those moment(s) in an individual’s third year of undergraduate life when one realizes, hey look, there’s only one more year of this “school” thing… wait, what am I going to do after that? Said individual will then enter the 10 stages of The Third Year Crisis, and emerge from the chrysalis a somewhat new being… maybe.

The 10 Stages

1. Failure to Ignore: When one realizes one can no longer brush off the question of what to do after undergrad. “Only one year left… wow that’s not that far away, I guess I should start thinking about things after that for real.”
2. Attempt at Denial: When one realizes thinking about things is starting to increase blood pressure and inner turmoil and tries to go back to thinking about whatever one was thinking about before the Crisis started. “Hm… I can’t really think of anything… oh well, I mean a year is still a bit of a long time right?… Yeah… 12 months…”
3. Panic: When denial fails. “Oh my gosh, that’s not a lot of time. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? I’m not ready for this.”
4. Considering Job Prospects: When one tries to find a logical career path built off one’s program of study. “Let’s take a quick look at some job options via the Career Centre… ” Followed by “Oh, they require another degree” or “Oh, this isn’t really something I can do” or “Well, that sounds boring” or “I really can’t see myself doing that every day” or “There’s no way this can pay for that 40th floor penthouse I’m going to buy.”
5. The Grad Studies Thought: When the prospect of facing the real world is just too much and one considers postponing entering the work force by continuing to learn. “Maybe I’ll just do some graduate studies and get that other degree? At least I’ll have more time to think about things.”
6. Regret the GPA: When one’s GPA is nowhere near the average entrance GPA of one’s ideal graduate school and the panic is replaced with regret and bitterness. “WHY DIDN’T I KEEN HARDER FIRST YEAR?!”
7. Bitterness and Mental Anguish: When one stares at one’s transcripts, but without really reading it because those numbers have already been ingrained into one’s mind and are chewing away at on’s last little bits of sanity. “What am I doing here? What am I doing with my life? Who am I?”
8. Personal Reflection: When one starts thinking about everything one did in life and how he/she got to his/her current point. This is the best part of the Crisis and once you reach this stage I highly encourage you to speak to family and friends and strangers. “So I always thought I loved learning about <insert subject here> but I think what I really love isn’t just the subject but it’s implications in the world and in my life… You know, when I was only 6 years old… ” or “Yeah, I changed my mind… I don’t like this any more… but now I’m not sure what I like.”
9. Seeking Help: When one finally reaches a better self-understanding/confusion, help is usually sought either in the form of Internet searches, conversations with upper years, or appointments with a Career Counsellor. “So I figured out something about myself, but what do you think about me and my current situation?”
10. The Next Step: When one somehow manages to get a blurry to 20/20 clear idea of what one needs to do next. This may or may not be accompanied by a better understanding of oneself. “EVERYTHING SUDDENLY MAKES MORE SENSE.”

Steps subject to repetition in or out of order.

Seeking Help:

• The Career Centre
• Career Cruising
• A prof who knows you well
• Your Registrar
• Family (if you’re close enough with them)
• Fourth years (and up) who have gone through this
• Friends going through this (caution with this – the two of you may throw each other into further spirals of despair)
• Your goldfish (the best listener)

Always Remember:

At the end of the day, the most important thing to keep in mind is what makes you happy. Do you want to help people? Do you want to be grand? Do you want to settle down with a happy family? Do you want to travel often? Do you want a job with constant changes? Do you want to have a predictable week every Monday?

What kind of life do you want in the end? Because life isn’t just about studying.

If you are easily grossed out by thoughts of yucky things, just obey the title and we won’t have any issues.

It started last Friday. Wait, no. Too fast.

It started during Reading Week. I got three wisdom teeth removed. I only had three. Two on my right side. It was a painful recovery – as expected – but I survived. I had my medicine and finished my full antibiotic course. I turned into a chipmunk for half a week. The check-up appointment with the oral surgeon went well; he said the recovery looked good. Life was good.

Then it started last Friday. I felt a strange swelling in my lower right jaw. Unsure if I had just slept wrong the night before, I decided it was probably nothing to worry about. Never make this assumption. (more…)

So I’m sure many of you are now aware that next week the Sexual Education Centre (SEC) here at U of T is holding its annual Sexual Awareness Week (SAW). And it all kicks off with a Sex Club Adventure!

Now that I have your full attention, you may also have noticed quite a lot of publicity around this first event in SAW. I’ve been following the topic around the corners of the triple ‘w’ for the past few days and will attempt to summarize my findings.

Background

• SEC starts SAW off by renting out a sex club for the day

“Come out and enjoy all the amenities of Toronto’s best sex club with your favorite group of friends. SEC has rented out the Oasis Aqua Lounge to allow students to enjoy the space at a greatly reduced cost with a crowd of their peers. Just show your student card at the door and you and your guests can enjoy the hot tub, heated outdoor pool, bar, and sauna.” (Event Facebook Page)

Clearing Up Confusions

• This is not an orgy.
• There is no pressure to have sex.
• No nudity until 7pm (note time change from original plans). Even past 7pm you will not be pressured to go nude.
• Any sexual activity will be limited to the top floor.
• The first floor is reserved for neutral, social interaction.
• Queer friendly!
• The usual rules that the Oasis Aqua Lounge enforces will not apply (ie. Don’t base your assumptions of the social off the Oasis FAQ!).
• All students are allowed – the party’s not limited to U of T. There’s an age limit of 35, and an age requirement of 19+ after 7pm.
• SEC is all about making people feel comfortable with their sexuality – you should not expect to feel pressure to do anything.
• Various SEC volunteers/Exec will be present to make sure no unwanted attention is received and to intervene if needed.

Various Media Associated

Reddit – Original SEC post

As far as I understand, here is one of the original posts made about the event. Several SEC volunteers, Exec, and previous attendees are answering questions and dealing with the various trolls.

Reddit – Waterloo invited (First use of word “orgy”)

And here’s where all the controversy and attacks started. The author of the post used the word “orgy” loosely and jokingly to refer to the event. SEC formally stated in various media that this is NOT an orgy.

The Star – First public media attention of the event

Did I mention that sometimes I enjoy reading through comments on an especially controversial article just to laugh at people? This article basically sums up the information and controversy at the time.

CBC – We’ve reached nation-wide audiences!

And, of course, CBC hops right on the band wagon to submit it’s own collection of tweets and quotes!

Kiss 92.5 – Interview with Dylan Tower, organizer of event

Dylan Tower speaks out to give formal information about the event. This is good for anyone who doesn’t believe any information written in the previous articles that I have provided.

The Star – More cleared information

And just Thursday a second article came out in the Star on the event. This focuses on a lot more on what SEC had to say.

My General Blurb

While I was unable to attend this event last year, I also don’t really recall it. Clearly media attention has been super hyped up this year – potentially good and bad. Probably because this year it’s open to students from outside U of T.

However, I do hear from my good friend on SEC as well as from posts and comments that last year the event went wonderfully. There wasn’t as much sex as you would imagine and there was mostly just normal socializing like any other bar night. The club has a heated outdoor pool, which I heard was used as the location for a snowball fight last year. And that sounds pretty awesome.

I’d also like to personally add that SEC is really all about promoting positivity and acceptance when it comes to sexual issues. And, let’s face it, sex is very much prevalent in student life – sweeping it under the carpet and not giving people access to education on safety and contraceptives will probably do more harm than good. But I also feel that, in the end, SAW isn’t going to be only about focusing on sex itself but will also open the doors for people to better accept sexual differences. And I think, at the end of the day, while you may not agree with someone else, as long as you can accept their differences the world might not be such an intimidating place any more.

So as with every other article on this topi, I am totally looking forward to the comments. But I also ask that everyone be polite and unassuming in their commenting because this is such an overblown issue now and I honestly don’t think anyone wants to do anyone else harm. Let’s all get along yes?

No, this is not a post about pregnancy.

Recently I’ve suffered from a strong ailment we may know as mid-undergrad crisis. Sadly I didn’t have the money to buy myself a fancy car nor did I have the time to pick up a new hobby.

My remedy? My mommy.

Perhaps I’m still a kid inside, but when it comes to difficult life choices and difficult life situations, no one seems to be quite as helpful as she is. I mean my dad’s cool too, but in a more “listen to your mother” sort of way. Maybe it’s because I know that in the past my mom was also in somewhat of the same position I’m in now, and she offers not only good life advice but also a girly conversation.

Now I realized not everyone is as close to their mother as I am with mine. I mean, I tell her everything. Except the exact numeric values of my lowest marks of course…

So I’m going to share with you some of Marina’s-mommy-motivation on various topics that I think lots of women in their early-mid 20′s have to deal with. Men too actually, though please keep in mind most of these things were told to me so they wouldn’t really be reflective of what you’d want to hear. Anything you don’t agree with, please take as a joke- cuz that’s probably how she meant it.

She also said most of these things in mandarin, I’m both translating and paraphrasing.

Boys

You are 50% your mother genetically. You were also perhaps raised in her household where inevitably some personal biases and preferences got passed over. Heard of the Electra complex? It may not be destiny but you can see some twisted sense in it.

Motherly advice:

There are some kinds of people who work really hard, and others who are naturally smart but don’t do as much work. Ideally you want to find the one who both works hard and is smart… but let’s face it- that’s near impossible and there’ll probably be a lot of competition (see below). In the end I think the ones who work harder are probably worth more in the long run, but can also be potentially boring- so figure out what you want. At the end of the day, if he isn’t an utter failure and you both can respect one another, you’re set.

In the end, it’s a lot easier for girls to chase boys than for boys to chase girls. But at the same time if there are a lot of girls chasing one boy, it may not be advantageous for you to join the race. Especially if the boy (who clearly is popular because he’s a good candidate) knows that he’s a good candidate. In that case, and while it’s not always the case, you might just be more inclined towards jealousy and potential future issues. Also competition is a pain.  Use your better judgement.

Having Fun In School

This would probably apply to both genders. Lots of people in undergrad here feel the competitiveness and get driven to sit and study all day. While it works for some people and they’re okay with it, I had a big issue with the thought that I’d have to study countless hours. During my mid-undergrad crisis, I studied and worked more than ever before, but was completely less productive. The essays I wrote were horrid and the experiments I ran gave the exact opposite result as was expected. Stress is not fun.

Motherly (+ a bit of fatherly) advice:

The undergraduate age is the one I remember the most. All the fun I had and people I met, I still remember vividly to this day. So you really should go spend more money. (That was the fatherly bit.)

At the end of the day, your physical and mental health are the most important. If you die, you won’t make it in life. If you go crazy, you’ll have a much, much harder time making it in life. So do something good for your body. Go take some course at this “Hart House” you keep telling me about. Try dancing – I was good at it, you should be too. Stop staring at your computer screen all day because you’ll end up distracted anyways. While you want to do generally well in school, you also don’t want to snap and end up like what’s-her-name’s daughter who got straight 4.0s throughout undergrad, went insane, and threw things at her parents before going on a tour around Asia and… who knows what she’s doing now anyways!

Career vs Family

I get a bit controversial here, please be nice to me and my mommy. This is more a look at feminism now days too as women are a strong part of the work force but we still are the ones to biologically get pregnant.

Motherly advice:

You don’t want to settle down and have kids until you have the money. That’s not to say you aren’t allowed to start looking for potential partners now, but keep in mind you do have a lot of time if you plan on doing continual education. Unless you find your ideal man now, it’s better to focus on your career. Of course, do remember that your future family life is also an important thing to plan for. But I think until you reach the ripe age of 22-24, you probably aren’t completely ready to think about that – and I mean truly think about it. Of course, if by 24 you aren’t engaged yet, I might get a little worried…

At the end of the day, all things will come. At this current stage of life you’re in, your career should be the biggest priority, with other future plans as a secondary priority. Now this might change for you in a few years when you start to lose fertility, but even then you still have lots of time left. So don’t worry too much about family planning now – you can afford to worry about it in a few years time when your career will (hopefully) be less of a worry.

Concluding Mommy Motivation

Don’t let a couple of bad grades on your courses drive you nutty. Look at the broader picture and remember that the entrance average for a lot of programs is in fact, the average: there are people admitted with lower GPAs. So don’t give up, make a backup plan to deal with the stress and then keep aiming for the same goal. Chances are, you’ll make it – otherwise you’ll have a backup all ready so you won’t need to do more stressing over that. And always remember, that at the end of the day your father and I will always be proud of you.

While this may have given you a bit to think about or just a few laughs is really up to you. But I’ve become quite inspired by this rare trip home and really needed to share the joy. Perhaps this was the best time for it as well.

Happy Exams, everyone!

There’s a strange sense of self-assurance and pride that one gets after looking at a completed, ready-to-send-off resume… as long as it’s well done. Resumes give a lovely list of everything you’ve done that makes you an asset to someone – which isn’t something we normally think about on a regular basis.

It might be a bit too early to start looking at jobs, but it will soon be that time to start sending out formal documents and applications for things you want to do next summer. I don’t mean this to be a how-to-write-a-resume post because the University of Toronto Career Centre offers much better advice. Instead, I’m going to list some options for assistance if you’ve never written a resume before:

• Consider the online program Optimal Resume found under Online Resources.
• Check out the Resume workshops offered.
• Try out Resume Clinic appointments offered Tuesday to Friday. Sign up is done online and starts at 9:30AM the day of.

It’s never too early to start preparing, which can save you some stress in the future. Besides, listing your accomplishments is always a big ego boost!

Disclaimer: These are my opinions, please don’t hate me. I don’t like being hated.

Forget the long preamble, let’s get right into it.

5. Email And Other Tasks

I find I’m often guilty of this. In short, sometimes when I sit down to study, I decide to first get some other stuff like emails and life-organization taken care of first. Generally, this takes a while and, by the time I’m done, there’s barely any time left to study. Or I end up getting distracted by some of the other things on this short list.

4. Roommates/Dormmates/Humans-In-Close-Proximity

I live in the den of an apartment. I have two roommates. I love them. Maybe too much. Every time one of them enters my general domain to grab something from the kitchen, I feel this need to say hi and start a conversation. My conversation starters are usually something along the lines of, “So, what are your thoughts on the genetic manipulation of humans?”

My conversations tend to drag on.

This is also true of living in dorms and having your friends so close by. They can just choose to come visit you whenever! And you can’t exactly say no, can you?!

3.  Food/Cleaning

More true of people who have kitchens near where they study. This might be why everyone goes to the library. I always end up cooking a meal when I don’t feel like studying… or I clean. Ever notice how when you’re studying at home you suddenly realize how much of a disarray your room is in? There’s no possible way you can study with all those papers not perfectly filed away somewhere.

2. Bed/Sleep

This happens both at home and in library – more likely at home, though. And I really think that, even if you manage to cut away all previous distractions, the studying might just bore you and, before you know it… zzz.

1. Internet (Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, And, Yes, Even G+)

Shouldn’t you be studying right now?

Can we all agree that being at university should be about fostering intellectual thoughts, meeting interesting people, and allowing an open environment for ideas to grow and flow?

It seems that, with all the studying and stress, we often come to forget what being at a prestigious education institute is about: inspiring young minds and coming up with innovative new ideas.

Luckily, this year there’s going to be a new club starting that serves to remind us of exactly what we’re doing in this exam-crammed, stress-inducing, sleep-deprived… you get the point. I present to you: i³.

The Institute for Inspiration and Innovation

Yes, I know it looks like i-cubed, but it stands for The Initiative for Inspiration and Innovation. To quote the founder:

“We have so many bright students in so many different areas of study, and there is no great platform to bring them all together under an academic umbrella, currently. We want to invite all students of all backgrounds to come out and take control of their education. University isn’t just a place for getting jobs; it’s an opportunity for intellectual exploration and growth.”

Wow, for a moment it felt like I was writing a news article, not a blog post… let’s get casual again.

With the goal of making “ideas sexy again”, i³ believes strongly in bringing ideas learned in the classroom out of it. Somewhat comparable to the you-better-know-about-it TED Talks conferences, i³ will have similar conferences where students can host talks and present their ideas to others. As well, there will be more frequent and casual events for students to just mingle, sharing ideas and inspiring one another.

Ideally, it would work sorta like this.

Personally, I think this is brilliant, mostly because it’s an open environment where people from different disciplines are encouraged to associate with each other and have mutually beneficial conversations. And I’ve always thought that, to be a well-rounded member of society, one has to know about more than just what one studies.

Did I also mention that, since it’s a new club, they’re recruiting Executive members? You can find the club on Facebook here and find the application sheet under the Files tab. Note that you’ll have to be part of the U of T Facebook group. Questions? Just ask. And now that I’ve discovered the wonderful power that is inserting quotes, I’ll leave you with another quote from the founder (more like a giant blurb):

“Upcoming to the University of Toronto in 2012/2013 is a new club, i³, which takes upon the goal of integrating students across the campus, from all facets of study and collegiate affiliation, on the basis of one key unifier: ideas.

“University is a chance for intellectual growth, a place to explore new ideas, and a place to foster innovation. However, there is often little emphasis outside the classroom on the ideas of its individual constituents, and even less on cultivating these ideas among the community. This is especially true given the large average class-size at the University of Toronto, and the relatively few seminar-sized classes and tutorials. There are few opportunities for individuals to build academic peer communities in which to exchange and create ideas, and this carries outside of the classroom: learning stops at the door. While the University of Toronto is home to some of the most intelligent students in the country, with many great ideas, many of these go unshared and unsupported. This is detrimental to both the individual and the intellectual community as a whole.

“The Institute for Inspiration and Innovation (i³) at the University of Toronto is a group intended to expand and foster the intellectual interests of students through forums and grants, akin to a more social and integrated version of the popular TED talk series. We aim to help foster inspiration, innovation, and the integration of these intellectual virtues.

“i³ is currently seeking Executives for its inaugural year. Currently available positions include a Secretary, a Communications Director, an Events Coordinator, a Treasurer, and a host of Liaison positions. For more information on the club, or to receive an Executive application and get involved, please see the i³ Facebook group at [https://www.facebook.com/groups/ithreeuoft/] or email us at [ithreeuoft@gmail.com]. Applications will be due July 9th, for equal consideration.”