Archive for the 'The Cynic' Category

The Truth About Biomolecular Research

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

One of these vials contains: a concentrated solution of denatured proteins; elemental and polyatomic ions; deoxyribonucleotides; a bit of RNA for good measure; and freshly replicated DNA strands that, when visualized on a polyacrylamide gel, will provide the final evidence confirming the hypothesis of a seventh year PhD student. The other contains water.

Life Science students spend a lot of time worrying: worrying about grades; whether or not to buy the $150 textbook for the ‘suggested’ readings; residence life (in a few cases); relationships (in even fewer cases); and grades. But there is something else we should be banging our heads against the biosafety cabinet about: the nature of biomolecular research.

I may not be saying anything new, but a significant portion of Life Sci students do some kind of lab research. You’ve probably already heard plenty of negative things about the long hours, thankless lab mates, inconclusive results, and distant profs, but I want to share some other aspects of lab research that you may not hear about until it’s too late.

This machine will become your new best friend. Without it, there are no numbers for science to work with!

Biomolecular research consists of mixing one colourless solution with another by pipetting miniscule volumes. Labeling these vials of clear, colorless, odorless liquid results in 80% of your time being spent with permanent markers, so prepare to sniff plenty of fumes.

After properly mixing all your nondescript liquids and labeling them (don’t forget today’s date!), you place these liquids in a complicated half-a-million-dollar machine designed by  some corporate engineers. As far as we’re concerned, the real magic happens inside this machine and it just poops out numbers on a monitor. These numbers are then processed by a grad student’s statistics software and voila! You have results.

There isn’t anything particularly wrong with this situation – it’s just the way it is. Think of it as one more strange and unusual environment we undergrads must persevere. And, for those who do, honour and glory await (or at least your chequing account is $4000 richer thanks to that summer grant)!

Ph.D.s and Grad Students as Portrayed On the Simpsons

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

A friend of mine shared this with me and I thought it was so funny I watched it twice. Notice how well-thought out and well-written the comments are (a rarity for YouTube).

Video highlights:

  • Bart teases the students by telling them that an assistant professorship opened up.
  • Bart cuts off the ponytail of a grad student, pretends to wear it, and says “Look at me, I’m a grad student. I’m 30 years old and I made $600 last year.”
  • Marge tells Bart not to make fun of grad students, “they just made a terrible life choice.”
  • Lisa throws breadcrumbs into the park and 4 grad students swarm in and start eating them off the floor hungrily.
  • Their supervisor says, “No food for you grad students til you grade 3,000 papers” and whips them.

Farrar to Students: “You Like Bureaucracy Don’t You?”

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007

Bureaucracy

The Cynic: The latest on how U of T Admin is screwing you

The issue:

U of T President David Naylor recently rejected the Macleans review and others that reflect dismal student satisfaction rates at U of T. At the same time, the Prez admits, during a Governing Council vote to raise tuition fees, that U of T needs more funds to avoid further decline in the student experience. Presumably in reaction to the massive bureaucratic inefficiencies that have resulted in this shortfall, David Farrar, Deputy Provost & Vice-Provost Students, has introduced a massive bureaucratic Restructuring Process that promises, well… more bureaucracy. Deteails on the depth and vigour of this screwjob after the jump… (more…)

Tuition Fees Suck!

Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

Tuition Fees Suck!

Students and staff are joining forces on Thursday April 26th at 4:30pm at Simcoe Hall Council Chambers (27 King’s College Circle) to demonstrate and vote against the university administration’s proposal to implement tuition fee hikes at Governing Council.

Don’t go because you hate paying even more of your hard earned cash toward tuition. Don’t go because the university administration is further encroaching on the autonomy of student government by attempting to implement the proposal over their opposition. Go because the press release claims the demonstrators will use “creative methods” to voice their discontent.

Creative methods? That’s a teaser if I ever heard one. The full press release after the jump.

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Student Affairs to Students: “Resistance is Futile.”

Thursday, March 8th, 2007

Resistance is Futile

The Cynic: The latest on how U of T Admin is screwing you

The issue:

With both UTSU and Governing Council’s holding upcoming elections the campus is alive with… well nothing special really. Barring any political miracles, the elections will likely garner little attention from the student body and even fewer votes cast. This phenomenon of non-voting is nothing unique to U of T, but it’s especially disappointing and alarming to find this level of political disinterest at a university housed in the midst of one of Canada’s most diverse and thriving political centers. So why the lack of enthusiasm about casting a ballot that will make or break the dream of an aspiring U of T politico?

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Faculty of Phys Ed to Students: “Hand over the cash, or say goodbye to the Varsity Centre!”

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

Cash Grab

The Cynic: The latest on how U of T Admin is screwing you

The issue:

The Faculty’s 2007-08 budget, which will be considered by the Council on Student Services (COSS) at the March 2nd budget vote, includes a $10 per term increase for full-time St. George students and a prorated increase for part-time St. George students. (more…)