I just thought that something like this would be amusing to write considering that I’ve been going through several weeks of non-stop total exhaustion all thanks to my courseload of 6 courses. Without further ado, here are 10 things that all or at least most of you should relate to if you are, in fact, a student at university. (more…)
If you missed the last Overheard on Twitter, you can check it out here.
“Oh, bless their souls, they’re using dial-up!” I exclaim as I watch You’ve Got Mail, but if we really put this into perspective, our generation has experienced a rapid change in the technology we use in our daily lives in the last two decades. This is a bit of an ambitious blog, so please don’t get huffy if I miss anything. (more…)
As December rears its ugly head, some people diligently prepare for their upcoming exams. Others, resigned to their inevitable fate of abysmal grades, procrastinate instead. I unfortunately count myself among the latter camp, having whittled much of my time away by watching figure skating. After all, it is an Olympic year: the one time every four years in which the mainstream media gives an indication that figure skating does indeed exist.
My opinion on figure skating is rather mixed. On one hand, I love the sport sincerely–at best, it is a sport that blends athleticism with artistry, the triumph of the human will over the constraints of gravity. On the other hand, the idiosyncrasies and the sheer ridiculousness of figure skating brings forth a steady stream of snark on my part. Today, it is the latter half of figure skating I focus on, a part of figure skating that lends itself to a substantial amount of (perhaps not completely unwarranted) ridicule and dismissal: the costumes.
Costumes are a fundamental part of figure skating. Most figure skaters regard themselves as artistes, wringing out their souls on the ice in the form of angsty expressions, overly-dramatic gestures and costumes that appropriately reflect the character of the arty masterpiece they are attempting to pull off. However, as in life, good taste is more often than not a rare commodity in the figure skating world. Which, of course, spurs me to pass judgment on a bunch of hard-working athletes not by the content of their character but by their choice of attire and my completely subjective sense of aesthetics. Ah, internet, my never-ending outlet for catharsis.
And so, without further ado–the best and worst dressed figure skatings of this season (so far):
In part three of blogUT’s continuing coverage of the Toronto Sketch Comedy Festival, we find ourselves once again in the cozy Theatre Passe Muraille catching the tail end of the week-long festival. The three final acts were the native Toronto duo Accidental Company, the energetic New York duo Kanellis & Armstrong (covered here), and former University of Toronto student group Statutory Jape. This evening’s performances rounded out a solid week of hilarious sketch comedy that featured groups from near (Toronto) and far (the æther that supposedly lies beyond Toronto) assembled to bring mirth to our frozen, coal-black city dwelling hearts.
In all honesty, it has been a great pleasure to cover this festival, and this author hopes sincerely that you managed to catch at least a little bit of the first-rate comedy that went on there. But enough of my sentimentality (exactly what I heard before getting shoved into a locker in Grade 8): onto the acts!
Accidental Company is a Toronto-based duo that opened the evening’s performance. They opened with a sketch featuring what could only be described as the bastard child of a children’s television show and Pee Wee Herman’s repressed memories. My favorite line came from the protagonist’s Big Book of Ideas: “Chapter 7: starving children should trick-or-treat more!” Accidental Company opened strong and maintained good chemistry throughout their sketches, despite some lulls in their otherwise impeccable energy and timing. The duo had inventive routines, and their sketches took some unexpected routes eschewing audience expectations. Favorite sketches were the autobiography of forward-to-novels writer Samuel McCloud (“Things I Never Did”) and Badjoon’s World.
Kanellis & Armstrong were in good form again. For a more in-depth look at their act, please see blogUT’s review of their Friday night show. A second review of their act revealed a previously unnoticed degree of improvisation, which was a pleasant surprise.
Statutory Jape brought the evening’s performances to a close. Their act, while solid, was by far the longest out of the three acts. It is possible that this is due not to a preponderance of content, but rather to their timing. Some of their sketches were overwrought and lacked actual punch lines to provide structure. Others had punch lines clumsily tacked on at the end of perfectly good sketches, throwing off the dynamic. My philosophy with comedy has always been that less is more (also, Shakespeare may have said that but he’s dead. Who’s plagiarizing whom now, William?!) and the same holds true for sketches. Saying more jokes with fewer words is always better [ED: more jokes, fewer words. [ED: jokes!]]. Nevertheless, I suspect that some of the timing issues are related to the fact that they were by far the largest group (at five performers) and followed two acts of duos (a configuration that helps to emphasize timing). There were some very funny sketches in this act: personal favorites were a Choose Your Own Adventure Diary of Anne Frank and Orson Welles upstaging his own death in Romeo & Juliette.
Do I hear a video mashup of Citizen Kane and Romeo + Juliette in the works? Answer: no.
To reiterate, it has been a pleasure to cover the Toronto Sketch Comedy Festival and I recommend that everybody at U of T check it out when it returns next year. At $12 a ticket, this event exists at the exact intersection between the twin axes of price and fun. (All econometrics of fun (funometrics) courtesy of the Bank of Canada).
Grad school is every ambitious undergraduate’s golden fountain of eternal youth, and most of us are like famed Spanish conquistador Gonzalo Pizzaro: doomed to wander the jungles and subjugate the Aztecs in the pursuit of our goal. Unlike Cortez, there is actually a chance of attaining your goal. Of course, having a horde of conquest-thirsty, glory-seeking conquerors would improve anyone’s application, but few of us have this (only 1 student in 2 at Trinity College). In the absence of a royal mandate, the rest of us have to struggle to make our own applications appear much longer and substantial/menacing (I cite the blowfish as inspiration) than they really are. If you are looking for tips on how to get that golden letter of reference, or how to make it look like you were heavily engaged in your college’s Frosh Week when in fact you were really just passed out in the quadrangle, then look no further! Avail yourselves of these handy tips.
INTERVIEWS
If you get an interview with a potential grad school, you should be aware of what they are looking for. The most important part of higher education is getting your foot in the door and never leaving, not even after you die and they have the wrench your corpse out of your office’s ergonomic swivel chair. Thus, having the appearance of a lifetime academic is key. Show up dressed like an Edwardian nobleman: full-tails with a bowler hat, monocle, and a copy of the London Times are highly recommended (NB: do NOT show up with a copy of the New York Times. What, do you WANT to look like some colonial?)
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
Did you ever visit Israel? Did you ever have a stopover in Jerusalem? Have you ever seen Israel on a map? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions then you have just earned the right to lie on your CV and write “Summer Kibbutz (2008)” under work experience. Likewise, being one of the elected “class representatives” to the Faculty of Arts and Science can, with the stroke of a pen, become “Actively engaged in Student Governance, 2006-present.” Also, if you really want to milk the “class rep” thing you can also include it as a Minor in Futility Studies.
Do you have a cohort of midterm exams staring you in the face? Are you feeling stressed out? Are you alternatively feeling not stressed out enough? What better way to deal with the myriad of horrible, crippling problems that you must have than to fake your way out of school? Sure, it sounds easy in principle, but without the grim specter of the cross-country running unit in Grade 7 gym class to spurn us all onto greater heights of Munchausen’s Syndrome, how are we university students ever to get out of class? Never fear, for here is a list of the three ways to fake your way out of school!*
The War Resistor Classic
This is one of the more simple of our Get out of Class Schemes©. It involves going to a pawnshop, buying a pistol, and shooting yourself in the foot.
The Spanish InFAKEluenza 2.0
This entails logging onto ROSI and clicking the “Declare Flu Absences” button. If you are asking yourself questions like, “Do I need to have the flu to use this?” or “Will I need a doctor’s note to verify my absences?” the answer is “almost certainly not.”
The Heene-dinburg
This is a somewhat more elaborate operation than simply blowing off extremities until your professors relent. The Heene-dinburg involves multiple steps.
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